Pregnancies and Baby’s
New Baby’s You might be worried and anxious about seeing, holding or even being near baby’s or pregnant women. Even just to hear a baby crying can be quite distressing. Put yourself first, protect your feelings and emotions. It is ok if you don’t want to attend a baby shower, or visit a new baby and parents in hospital or attend a child’s birthday party. Please remind yourself to put your feelings first and do what feels right for you.
The loss of your baby can often put a significant stress on your relationship with your partner. You have both experienced such a sad loss and the time that follows can often be full of good and bad days. Know that this is normal, you can not expect that everything will always be as it used to be. This does not mean you don’t love each other, you are both going through something parents should never have to.
We often find that father’s are trying to be the ‘protector’ of their partner- making sure she is ok, whilst trying to deal with their own loss. They may also be in charge of reading through paperwork and making funeral arrangements. It is important fathers also get the love and support they need.
Parents have told us:
“Our relationship became stronger than ever, we relied on each other so much”
"We argued a lot, i think there was so much we didn’t talk about when we should have"
” I found it so difficult with he returned to work, the feeling of being alone in the house was really hard”
” We talked more than we ever have before. i saw a side of her i had never seen before”
“We both went to counselling, we were sceptical in the beginning but it really did make a difference”
“We parted ways about 12 months later, we both just didn’t cope with our loss, in the end we knew it was the best thing”
” If we can get through this, we can get through anything”
It is important to try to talk with each other and express the way you are feeling.